Lasting Recovery Honors Women and Mother’s who are Struggling with Alcoholism in Carmel Valley, Poway, La Jolla, Del Mar, Carlsbad and Rancho Penasquitos

Every mother tries to do her best. It is not easy to be a Mother, yet mothering has incredible moments that far surpass a multitude of other life experiences. And without the love of mothers, where would any of us be?  When a mother is alcoholic, she may reach a point where she drinks instead of parenting, despite her intentions and her natural instincts. For many of us women alcoholics, we salute Betty Ford for giving us the dignity we so desperately needed to bring the tragedy and suffering of this disease onto the front pages, rather than the quiet shameful obituaries mentioned in the back.

The denial of the addiction will force her to minimize her use, justify her use and avoid talking to others who might interfere in her drinking. It isn’t the fault of the Mother, it is the process of  addiction, this powerful brain disease. Alcohol is just one of the addictive drugs that undermine a woman's ability to parent and grandparent by the very nature of the substance. 

My Grandmother, a nurse, never lived to see her sons marry, or her grandchildren be born, dying in her early 40’s from cirrhosis of the liver, complication from her disease of alcoholism.  

My Mother, an 8^th grade school teacher, died of lung cancer in her early 50’s, as a result of her addiction to cigarettes. 

Though my alcoholism cost me my ability to bear a child,  my recovery enabled me to be a Mother.  And I am eternally grateful for the experience of being a ‘Mom”. Being genetically predisposed to addiction I was using alcohol and drugs, including nicotine, freely in my teens, twenties and early 30’s, until I could no longer function. I recognized I was in a death process, a life governed by fear and self destruction. I was no longer in a living process.  I was trapped in the physical, emotional and spiritual deaths like my mother and grandmother. 

I went through an agonizing withdrawal to free myself from these powerfully addicting substances as well as to the prescription tranquillizers and pain medication I began using after the death of my mother. I was determined  to wake up out of this fog that I didn’t realize I had gotten into, and celebrate life!

I learned to strengthen my thinking that was negative and scattered. I used yoga,  meditation and progressive muscle relaxation exercises, and prayer to reconnect with my body that had shut down.  And I found a purpose for my life, a reason to go through all of this work to transform the wiring in my brain chemistry. 

There were immense internal and external changes I had to go through to liberate myself from the physical and psychological triggers of prior chemical substances use.

I know that addiction is not a choice. It is not just a matter of just stopping one day.  The chemicals have hijacked the brain.To recover from this disease, we have to want to live even though we don’t recognize we're dying…to pull ourselves to the brighter side of life.  

Peace  to you, your Mother and your Mother’s Mother and to all Women on this day!

Judy A. Saalinger, Ph.D., MFT, CAS

Co-Founder of Lasting Recovery Outpatient Treatment Programhttp://www.lastingrecovery.com/terms.html#addiction